Parenthood and a full-time job - what does it feel like to have it all? Our team member aka real-life Wonder Woman, Amalina, shares her story.
Spoiler alert: It never gets easier
Hi, my name is Amalina (also known as Amal). I’m a Quality Assurance (QA) Engineer here at AdEasy, and a proud mum of one. Here’s a glimpse of my life prior to earning my cherished title of “Mother”. After graduating with a Bachelor of Computer Science (Computer Network) from Universiti Putra Malaysia (UPM) in 2016, I began my career as a Software Test Engineer. I enjoy working, as I’m passionate about the QA field. My previous job was project-based, hence I found myself travelling for work on a regular basis (I even did a 100km roundtrip once!). One of my career highlights is being recognised as a Professional Technologist (which comes with the “Ts” title) by the Malaysia Board of Technologists (MBOT).
I got married to my husband back in August 2018 and we welcomed our first child, Ken, in January 2020. How has my life changed since becoming a mother? Let’s just say that it has changed drastically in unimaginable ways. Now, I find myself having to juggle between becoming a good mum to Ken, taking care of my household, and thriving as a QA Engineer. Some days are tougher than others, but hey, I’m taking life one step at a time.
Achieving The Elusive Work-Life Balance
I’m going to put it out there: working mum guilt is real, so is the stress of trying to get it all together. I can attest to this. As an employee, I am grateful that I’m still able to do what I love for a living. While the Covid-19 pandemic has forced companies to rethink their work arrangements (WFH is the new buzzword), it poses another dilemma for working parents like yours truly. Sure, working from home offers convenience whereas you don’t have to go out and brave the rush hour traffic. But have you tried working on your laptop with your little one(s) demanding for your attention 24/7? It can get physically and emotionally draining at times. Hence, having an understanding team, and a good support system at work are pivotal in helping working mothers cope without compromising on their work performance and overall well being.
Work Versus Family Commitments
A mother, a wife, and an employee - yes, I wear many hats. I’m dedicated to my work, there’s no doubt about it. But when an unexpected family emergency occurs, my first instinct is to drop everything and attend to my family’s needs. Regardless of whether I’m at home or at work, there are moments when I have that nagging feeling that I should be elsewhere, getting something productive done instead. Self-care is not on my priority list anymore. The idea of putting myself above everyone and everything makes me feel...well, guilty. Even if it’s just for a moment.
My solution to these working mum dilemmas? Tag-team parenting.
My husband and I, we’re both income earners. There’s no such thing as one of us has a more important job than the other. We share the parenting load equally. If one of us has a hectic day at work, the other will take over childcare duties. Same goes to household chores and other miscellaneous tasks - we divide and conquer. As parents, it’s important for us to present ourselves as a unified team in front of our child because kids tend to mimic and imitate what their parents do or say. In addition, we make a point to ensure each of us gets one-on-one bonding time with Ken.
My suggestions on what organisations can do to support working parents:
1) Offer flexible working hours besides the standard 9 am to 6 pm schedule.
2) Include family healthcare benefits as part of employee perks.
3) The WFH option should remain, even after the Covid-19 outbreak is contained in months (or years) to come.
Frankly, women shouldn't have to choose between their careers and family. They should be able to have it all if they want to. And even if there are those who opt to pick one over the other, it’s their personal choice and their decision should be respected.
To all fellow mothers and mums-to-be out there, Happy Mother’s Day! You’ve got this!
Me and my bundle of joy.
